It's About Time Week

It's about time you realized we're in the middle of It's About Time Week, which started on the 25th and continues until December 31st!

What, exactly, is it about time for? Well, it's almost time to discard your 2009 promotional calendars(yes, they always end up being the ones we keep), which is certainly a cause for celebration...Time to make plans for New Year's Eve? Time to stare at the customized clock on your wall and contemplate the meaning of time itself? Time to get really, really confused about the meaning of this holiday? You be the judge, I guess.

Festivus

Tomorrow, December 23rd, is Festivus! In the great tradition of made-up holidays, this one originated with the sitcom Seinfeld twelve years ago. Festivus is a secular mash-up of winter holiday traditions, meant to avoid the crass commercialism and pressure that have come to surround what should be your own Christmas and Hanukkah.

Festivus is celebrated with a communal meal, much like the other winter holidays, though this one is punctuated by such amusing rituals as the "Airing of Grievances," in which diners discuss the various ways each one has been disappointed by the others in the course of the year. There are also "feats of strength" involved, such as wrestling the host with the end goal of concluding the holiday. Best of all, customized Christmas carols are mercifully absent.

In the noble utilitarian spirit of Festivus, there are no customized ornament-laden trees to get in the way - merely an unadorned aluminum "Festivus pole." By two days before Christmas, when everyone is burnt out from the supposedly merry season and ready to chuck the tree out the window rather than continue dealing with the stress of family and personalized holiday gifts, a sarcastic holiday like this is totally necessary. Thanks, promotional television! You've actually given us something useful!

Halcyon Days

As of December 14th, we are (supposedly) in the midst of the Halcyon Days, a two-week period of calm weather in December lasting until the 28th of this year (check your nearest personal weather station to see if it's holding true this year!). To what do we owe this meteorological kindness?

Thanks, Greek myth! Apparently, the Greek goddess Alcyone, daughter of the wind god Aeolus, threw herself into the ocean when her mortal husband Ceyx died during a storm at sea. The gods took pity on both of them and turned them into birds, becalming the sea for two weeks to allow them to build nests and lay eggs on the water's surface without fear of disruption by storms. Gradually, these mythical "halcyon" birds became synonymous with the kingfisher bird, a real species which - although it does not lay its eggs in winter - does sometimes nest near water and would theoretically benefit from calm weather.

"Halcyon days" is used in general speech to mean a calm, tranquil, prosperous, or otherwise fortunate period of time in the past, which is pretty funny considering how stressed out everyone usually is around the winter holidays (imprinted stress balls always work for me). I bet all those people waiting in hours-long lines to buy promotional holiday gifts (remember Tickle Me Elmo?) or scrambling to find last-minute personal transportation to their family for the holidays will really look back at the calendar two weeks from now and sigh wistfully, remembering how relaxing it was.

National Re-Gifting Day

This Thursday, December 17th, is National Re-Gifting Day! This noble holiday is celebrated on the Thursday before Christmas, which happens to coincide with the date most commonly selected for holiday office parties. Did you know that according to National Re-Gifting Day's official site, co-workers are targeted for re-gifting 41% of the time?

If you're looking to give away some of your promotional corporate gifts this year, why not bring the custom out into the open and have a re-gifting party? If you recycle down your presents you can even make your own eco-friendly gifts! And even if you don't, you can try to turn them into personalized holiday gifts that will be in good condition anyways, since the original recipients haven't used them.

Festival for the Souls of Dead Whales

Today, December 10th, is the Festival for the Souls of Dead Whales.

Or is it? The Festival is supposedly an Inuit holiday - Inuit people eat a lot of whale-meat due to its high vitamin and mineral content, since the Arctic is a little low on fruits and vegetables - but while the Inuit do honor the spirits of the whales they eat, National Geographic reports that they've apparently never heard of a "Festival for the Souls of Dead Whales." The three Inuit whale-related holidays somewhat resemble Thanksgiving, with lots of personal holiday food and expressions of gratitude for the bounty of the whales, but they fall in mid-June, late November, and late December.

Since the only concrete evidence of the existence of this holiday is a custom ceramic mug on CafePress, I have to believe that promotional calendar companies just really like the idea of a "Festival for the Souls of Dead Whales," and can't bear to take it off the holiday list. Looks like the whales have the last laugh. And in honor of the souls of dead whales, check out this cool promotional whale stress ball!

Weary Willy Day

Tomorrow, December 9th, is Weary Willy Day. It's actually the birthday (in 1898) of Emmett Kelly, Sr., creator of the iconic "tramp clown" character, Weary Willy. Though Kelly began his circus career as a trapeze artist and occasional "normal" white-face clown, he devised the Weary Willy character while working as a cartoonist and when the Great Depression hit, audiences enthusiastically welcomed the new "tramp clown." Weary Willy was a welcome departure from normal clowns, with his ragged customized apparel, downtrodden expression, and "non-acts" that consisted of interrupting other circus performers--dusting the performing animals, polishing stage lights, stringing laundry on low acrobatic wires, and so on.

Kelly performed as Weary Willy with several circuses, most notably appearing for fourteen seasons with the Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey. Weary Willy also had a few promotional film appearances, and briefly served as the Brooklyn Dodgers' sports logo mascot! I'm trying to think of a parallel entertainer for the current financial crisis, but not coming up with any names--who do you think could be the Weary Willy of this generation?

Day of the Ninja

Tomorrow, December 5th, is the Day of the Ninja! If you've ever wanted to be one of these stealthy black-clad martial artists, sneaking around unseen while wielding really cool weapons, this day is for you!

The Day of the Ninja website has all sorts of tips for this holiday, including instructions on how to make a ninja mask out of a custom t-shirt and throwing stars out of ordinary paper. As far as the rest of your ninja customized apparel, simple black clothing should do the trick, as long as it's something you can move around in (but please, no short shorts!). Now get out there and spread awareness of the awesomeness that is the ninja!

Roof Over Your Head Day

[note: don't try this at home!]

Tomorrow, December 3rd, is Roof Over Your Head Day. This holiday is a time to be thankful for what we have, specifically the roofs over our heads. This isn't meant to be a literal celebration of the architecture --though I suppose you could take it that way, if your house happens to be a particularly stunning design specimen--but instead an expression of gratitude for having shelter where many people don't.

Does the premise of the holiday sound familiar? Thanksgiving may have been only a week ago, but some people apparently have very short memories and need to be reminded with the holidays as if they were custom calendar-based alarm clocks. Anyway, if you were too busy dodging relatives and stuffing your face with turkey to use last Thursday for its intended purpose, you have another chance tomorrow. Don't miss it!