Happy Halloween!

(Via: Yahoo! 360°)

A time for ghouls, goblins, zombies, witches, scare crows, candy apples, scary movies, pumpkins, trick-or-tricking, and costumes! A day when the spirit of the dead greet the living!!! OOOOOOOOoooooooo!

**Ahem** …Sorry…

Those are just a few images and words that remind me of Halloween. A whole day dedicated to guising and candy eating, Halloween has traditionally been a time to for varying festivities. I hope they give out free Halloween gifts at the parades tonight!

Can’t wait!

National Knock-knock Jokes Day!

(Via: Host Dr. Jack.)


National Knock-knock Jokes Day who?

While the rest of the world celebrates ghouls, goblins and all things haunted, the humble knock-knock joke’s special day is often overlooked. No longer, I say! On October 31, bombard your friends with these classic pun-filled jokes. Slip knock-knocks into your conversations whenever possible, write your friends special notes full of jokes and tell knock-knock jokes to trick-or-treaters as you hand out candy. You could even go door to door reciting knock-knock jokes instead of trick-or-treating to really confuse people.

However you choose to celebrate this wacky holiday, don’t forget to keep seeking answers to that proverbial question: Who’s there?

Mischief Night

I have written a poem for the folks who are thinking about misbehaving this evening for Mischief Night! Stay out of trouble!

Wait is Halloween tomorrow?
O, great sorrow!
That means tonight is for the naughty!
Do I really have to call the cops on thee?

Why are you so smitten?
That toilet paper better be for sh*****
As I grow tiresome of the prankster.
O, No! Terrible “Toilet-trees” cause a stir

Ding Dong at my bell
O What the hell!
Thought I got rid of you joker!
Go get a burger…
And think alittle about what you are doin’

Tricks and trouble
Sorry to bust your bubble
But you should probably use that egg for fryin’
Or else you might be cryin’
On this weird night for Mischief!

…

Ok well I am no Shakespeare but in order to promote a holiday like Mischief Night, which is rightly also called Devil’s Night, I wanted to dedicate something for the potential pranksters! Is April Fool’s Day not enough for guys? Huh?!!?

An Apple a Day . . . All month long!

Happy Apple Month!

Nothing says autumn like biting into a delicious, crisp apple. October is a month for celebrating all things apple-related. For the record, I’m talking about that shiny, round, usually red or green thing they call a fruit, not the company that produces iPods and computers. I mean, you could try going bobbing for iPods but I hear it gets a little messy. Plus, MP3 players just don’t have that same tangy sweetness, you know?

Before the month is out, make an effort to try some new apple varieties. There are over 7,500 different kinds of this fruit grown worldwide so if you start now and eat a different one every day, you might finish by October of 2028. You can use apples in countless ways from traditional apple pie, to homemade apple facial masks to apple-head dolls. No wonder an entire month is needed to celebrate this versatile fruit.

If you’re feeling adventurous you might also want to get your hands on a good carving knife and try apple carving! You might not be able to turn it into an apple jack-o-lantern, but apples are a whole lot easier to dispose of at the end of the season than conventional pumpkins.

Celebrate these last few days of October by going apple crazy!

What a Grouch!!!!!: Cranky Co-Worker Day!

Psst! Is the lady next you always cursing up a storm or the guy in cubicle B always banging his head on the keyboard? Today is Cranky Co-Worker Day so you can celebrate these pleasant joys of life. There are plenty of ways to deal with cranky co-workers. You can show them that their callous bitterness adds a touch of warmth to your day like a cup of hot chocolate, a knit hat, and cozy, fuzzy slippers on a wintry morning. Go ahead and give them an enormous bear hug or a much needed high-five! I am sure they would greatly appreciate it….

Yeah ok!!!... Wait, what?... Well, @@(*$ &&@() &$*$&& to you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey You! Pass the Bologna!

Today is National Bologna Day!—a holiday for those who love the delectable taste of low quality scraps of meat …MMMMMMMM!

What can we do to celebrate this glorious day? Here are some suggestions:

1. We could take a trip to Bologna, Italy!
2. Make a triple layered bologna with all kinds of healthy fixings to camouflage the fact that we are eating borkchickenveal.
3. We could try Garlic Bologna, which is the German variety of the meat.
4. Research some creative bologna recipes!

What ever you choose to do, make sure you take pride in promoting food especially this mishmash and variegation of different meat cuts.

So now let us sing the Oscar Mayer song! And I want you to sing it like you mean it!

My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R
My bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R
Oh, I love to eat it every day, and if you ask me why, I'll say,
"'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A.”

Happy Mole Day!

Moles and Science Unite!

For science students at my high school, October 23rd was a date both dreaded and revered. My Chemistry teacher seemed to spend the majority of her time from August to October preparing for this special, sacred day. She worked tirelessly on such academically intensive projects as designing stuffed moles, writing mole-jokes and making mole costumes.

Wait. Moles?!? What do Moles have to do with science?

Mole Day commemorates Avogadro’s Number, a basic unit of measurement in chemistry, also called a “mole” and numerically described as 6.02 x 10^23. Thus, on October 23rd, between the hours of 6:02am and 6:02 pm, chemists, students and mole-lovers the world over rejoice! Mole Day at my high school included a party at 6:02am, which despite the ungodly earliness of its hour was always a fun (and nerdy) experience. This year’s “theme” announced by the National Mole Day Foundation is “Mole of Fortune.” For some reason I see a giant spinning wheel containing only the numbers 6.02 and 10^23, but you might have some more creative ideas up your sleeve.

Celebrate by creating your own Mole Day t-shirt, writing your own corny Mole jokes or grabbing a couple of Avagadros to make some Guacamole. Okay, that was bad. I wonder if poor Avogadro himself is moleing over in his grave?

Let’s Get Rollin’: Roller Skating Month

Need something to do this month? I was thinking we could celebrate National Roller Skating Month with some family and friends and family and MAYBE some co-workers!

There are only 8 days left in October so when are we going to host our roller skate party! How about we throw a Halloween roller skating extravaganza?! We can dress up as funky roller skating competitors from the 70’s! No? Ok, we will work out the kinks later.

Basically, Roller Skating Month is about promoting sports and recreation and exercise through a fun activity like roller skating. I know! I know! You are thinking why in the world would I go roller skating if I don’t know how? Falling face first or bruising your bottom would be somewhat embarrassing but you will have friends and family there so who cares!

Visit your local rink and roll in the fun!

Sweetness is Overrated

Sourest Day (October 25)



When life gives you lemons, celebrate Sourest Day. The cynic’s response to Sweetest Day, Sourest Day gives all of us a chance to gripe and complain about all of life's bitter misfortunes. On October 25, explore your pessimistic side. When you smell flowers, look for a funeral; if you see a rainbow, look for that neighboring thunderstorm. The ultimate cynic will want to bombard the optimists in their life with gifts of sour candy and customized greeting cards with Sourest Day messages.

The way I see it, this holiday is the perfect excuse to indulge in your favorite sour candy and lemonade. Pucker up!

National Pizza Month!!

October is officially National Pizza Month so its time to throw a pizza party at the office! Have a fun competition to see who can find the greatest amount of different types of pizza. At home you can try a diverse variety of this staple dish: The classic Italian version, Aysh abu laham, which is a pizza-like dish from Saudi Arabia, the pizza bagel variation, deep dish pizza etc. Create your own signature pizza and bring it to the next company pot-luck! Put a gift-certificate for the local pizza place in your corporate food gift baskets.

Who ever thought pizza could serve so many purposes!

The Sweetest Day Ever?

If you thought there weren’t enough holidays designed to rot our teeth, you may be delighted to here about Sweetest Day, a holiday primarily celebrated by the candy lovin’ folk of the Great Lakes Region on October 20th.

Rumor has it that candy makers in the Cleveland, Ohio area concocted the holiday over eighty years ago in an attempt to boost candy sales. Although fellow candy makers all over the United States attempted to adapt “Sweetest Day” and make it a nationally celebrated holiday, they were largely unsuccessful. Despite the fact that Sweetest Day never stuck in most parts of the United States, many in the Midwest recognize the day by giving candy and cards to friends, relatives and loved ones. Hallmark creates over 150 kinds of cards made specifically for “Sweetest Day” every year.

Though candy manufacturers claim the day is about “giving to children, orphans and the poor” it’s pretty clear that October 20th is largely about prepping our stomachs for the large amounts of sugar we consume on Halloween. It’s sort of like a warm-up holiday for the massive sugary marathon ten days later. Not that I'm complaining- you can send any unwanted sweets over to me.

Happy Sweetest Day!

Timber & Balloon Festival!

UP, UP, AND AWAY!

Just wanted to tell you about the Timber & Balloon Festival taking place October 17th-19th, 2008 at Shawnee Mountain in the Poconos! This is going to be three days worth of fun filled extravaganzas like fireworks, hot air ballooning, sky diving exhibitions, competitions, food and crafts vendors, and so much more. Festivities are from 4-6pm Friday night and 7am-6pm on Saturday and Sunday. Guess I won’t be getting much rest this weekend!!

I am sure there are going to be so many vendors well equipped with their fun promotional items; companies always seem to be giving out loads of free stuff at events as majestic as this one. I will make sure I bring a duffel bag!

Global Handwashing Day

Scrub-a-dub-dub!

Today is Global Handwashing Day! The UN recently decided that 2008 is the International Year of Sanitation, and that the focus should be on school children across the world, from Kenya to Vietnam to the U.S.

This day is devoted to getting kids to wash their hands, and have fun doing it! It is important for every child to learn to scrub up as often as possible, to avoid spreading germs. With winter fast approaching, this is the best way to stay healthy through the cold months.

Often on the run? Can't stop and wash your child's hands as often as you'd like? Try a pack of foaming soap sheets that are fun to use and get rid of the germs!

Be Bald and Be Free Day

Hats Off To You!

Be bald. Be bold. Be proud. It's like the new Marines commercial for baldness. Speaking of which, a lot of those men shave it all off and they are still a handsome bunch.

Today is about embracing your current baldness, your baldingness, or even the idea that you may begin to bald at some point in the future. Heck, I have a friend in his early 20s who can't wait to go bald!

There are many arguments over what does or does not cause baldness: showering products, excessive blowdrying, etc. Word on the street still seems to have it that most of it is hereditary, and that if your maternal grandfather didn't have much hair, neither will you.

Men, women and children go bald for any number of reasons, and its' really not a big deal. Think of the money you save on haircuts and the time you save on hairstyling. Wear your baldness with pride, and if you want to mix it up a little, get some cool hats for you and your amigos.

50th Anniversary of Paddington Bear

The bear that you knew growing up is now reached middle age. Paddington bear is 50 and yet he's still telling stories to kids. Paddington will be touring all over London today, ending at the station he was named. Kids and adults will have the opportunity to take photos with the famous bear, and receive some really cool giveaways.

If you want to celebrate the popular teddy bear, you can always have some birthday cake in his honor.

Happy Columbus Day! …Or Is It Really So Happy?

Today is quite a confusing federal holiday…well, at least for me it is. Can someone REALLY “discover” a land that was already obviously found and inhabited? According to history, you can! Thus I think I will change the name of this country from the United States of America to “Terabithia!” In the mean time, enjoy the Christopher Columbus song called “In 1492.”

IN 1492

In fourteen hundred ninety-two
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He had three ships and left from Spain;
He sailed through sunshine, wind and rain.
He sailed by night; he sailed by day;
He used the stars to find his way.
A compass also helped him know
How to find the way to go.
Ninety sailors were on board;
Some men worked while others snored.
Then the workers went to sleep;
And others watched the ocean deep.
Day after day they looked for land;
They dreamed of trees and rocks and sand.
October 12 their dream came true,
You never saw a happier crew!
"Indians! Indians!" Columbus cried;
His heart was filled with joyful pride.
But "India" the land was not;
It was the Bahamas, and it was hot.
The Arakawa natives were very nice;
They gave the sailors food and spice.
Columbus sailed on to find some gold
To bring back home, as he'd been told.
He made the trip again and again,
Trading gold to bring to Spain.
The first American? No, not quite.
But Columbus was brave, and he was bright.
We cheer for him and say hooray,
Especially on Columbus Day!

Fiji Day!!

I thought it would be an awesome idea to promote traveling today. How about we go to Fiji!!!!! Time to finally take that vacation you have been blabbering about for the longest time!! Fiji is kicking off their week-long independence day celebrations today so it’s a great excuse to STOP making excuses on why you can't take a trip. Book a flight already!

Well, if you don’t go then I will just go…**sigh** the sacrifices I have to make these days!

It’s Moldy Cheese Day Today!

I am no cheese connoisseur but supposedly moldy cheese is non-toxic depending on the type of cheese. I really do not think cheese gurus are referring to the non-descript, somewhat sketchy cheeses from the corner store; when they say most molds are harmless, they mean the Roquefort, Gorgonzola, Brie and Camembert types that are actually made by mold. …I can’t believe I am even saying any mold is harmless (ICK!).

I would strongly advice that you ask the experts as to which moldy cheeses you should disregard or salvage! Go to a cheese tasting class or join a cheese Meet Up group or buy a cheese board set. If you are lactose intolerant, go to the Cheesecake Factory just because it has the word “cheese” in it or say “cheese!” if someone takes a photograph of you today. Celebrate Moldy Cheese Day as you see fit!!!

Happy Mad Hatter Day!!

Have you always wondered what the “10/6” meant on the Mad Hatter’s top hat in the Walt Disney animated feature film, “Alice in Wonderland.” Well, the “10/6” refers to October 6, which is Mad Hatter Day! Fun Note: The reference in the original British version of the story, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, actually means ten shillings and six pence, which is the price of the hat in pre-decimalized British currency; the price tag acts as a visual indication of the Mad Hatter’s trade.

So what exactly do you do on Mad Hatter Day? It is much too early to disguise yourself as a mad, eccentric, hat designer—I mean unless you dress like the Mad Hatter normally then that’s a different story. So my suggestion is to have an excitement filled day and have fun promoting silliness at the office. You can even host an after-work trip to the local comedy club!

Simply enjoy Mad Hatter Day!

International Frugal Fun Day!

Tomorrow, October 4th, is International Frugal Fun Day! So pinch your pennies and spend the whole day being extremely CHEAP. Ride you bike! Fly a kite! Read a book! Do something that will take the stress off your pockets. I challenge you to withdrawal only $15 to use for the entire day! Be creative, have fun promoting frugal spending and good times!

WARNING: Tomorrow will be a REALLY bad time to take someone out on a date. When the check comes it won’t be too wise to tell your date that you are devotedly observing International Frugal Fun Day as your proceed to “innocently” pass the check on over. Don’t expect a second date!

National Sarcastics Awareness Month (continued)

For those of you who have no idea how to be sarcastic…don’t try! Sarcasm is innate, an awesome art of subtly in stating the opposite of what you intend to mean. Sarcasm can be used sneeringly, slyly, humorously, mockingly etc. Here are some examples I made up (Person B is the sarcastic one):

Person A: Is it raining?
Person B: No, the windows are just crying.

Person A: Dude, he isn’t moving, do you think he’s hurt?
Person B: Of course not, he is just too embarrassed to move or breathe

Here are some infamous sarcastic quotes:

“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”
- Ashleigh Brilliant, writer and syndicated cartoonist

“I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.”
- Stephen Bishop, singer and guitarist

Now, for those who think that they epitomize sarcasm and are the ultimate sarcastic guru, then October is dedicated to you because it’s National Sarcastics Awareness Month! So continue to not explicitly say what you mean and hone your craft of sarcasm!

Hold the Meat and Pass the Veggies!

On October 1st, veggie-heads all over the world celebrated the beginning of World Vegetarian Month by throwing blocks of tofu at passing carnivores!

Only kidding . . . we’d never waste tofu on meat eaters!

October is the month for vegetarians and vegans the world over to rub their moral superiority in the faces of their meat-eating friends. Alright, so maybe abstaining from meat doesn’t make one morally superior, but during the month of October, vegetarians are encouraged to celebrate and promote their eco and animal-friendly lifestyles. Activities, celebrations and festivals can be found all over the world, but if there isn’t one in your area check out these ideas for activities you can do alone or with a group of friends.

Still love your meat, eggs and dairy but want to participate? Non-vegetarians are encouraged to make an effort to eat meatless more often throughout the month of October. You might even want to try your hand at some new healthy and easy vegan recipes.

As a vegetarian of 6 years and vegan of 3, I’ll be celebrating by baking some vegan cupcakes and snuggling up in my favorite personalized sweatshirt that reads “vegetarian” across the front!

Have fun and don’t forget to eat your vegetables!

National Sarcastics Awareness Month

Nice Perfume. Must You Marinate In It?

Wow! So this month is National Sarcastics Awareness Month. I am so gladsome genius twiddled his thumbs long enough to bypass ideas like National Cotton Ball Month and National Manila Envelope Awareness Month to come upwith this one! I better take the whole month off from work so I have enoughtime to celebrate such a meaningful holiday.

Of course, I'm just being sarcastic. After all, it's what this month is all about. But more than just being sarcastic, it is about being aware of how your sarcasm can affect others. It's great to use a bit of dry humor now and again, but it's important to realize that it can become hurtful if it gets out of hand. So, sling sarcasm, but toe the line, and recognize those who can handle it better than others.

Design cool shirts or sweatshirts to give your friends or coworkers in honor of this great (not!) month. You can stamp your own slogan and logo on some promotional clothing, and really spread the sarcasm around!