National Tooth Fairy Day (Not Applicable If You Wear Dentures)

Think back to your childhood. Remember the tooth fairy? You know, the cute girlie girl that goes around the world to sprinkle her fairy dust,collect teeth, and leave money under your pillow? It's okay, you can admit it, you haven't thought about her in ages, have you?! So do it now and make up for the past! You just can't forget her simply because you think you're too mature now.

Give this fairy hussy some attention on her special day, She'll be mad if you don't.Be cool and get on her good side, and praise her for her hard work (she does leave money under the pillow of every kid in the world you know, there aren't exactly lots of postings on craigslist for that kinda job).

Make sure to mark the date and celebrate this day with your kids, friends, or other lonely adults ...surely you're not celebrating this one on your own! How about promotional t-shirts for kids with tooth fairies imprinted on them?!

We all know you don't really care about this day and are just using her for the money, so just make sure you're good and knock out a few of your kids' teeth to keep her happy and keep those dollars rolling in!

Inconvenience Yourself Day (Cuz Underneath Your Cracked, Bitter Shell, You're Really A Good Person...Right?)

Does this holiday sound right or wrong to you?! Would you really wanna inconvenience yourself? How far would you go? Maybe just inconvenience yourself for those you care about?
Take this holiday seriously folks! In a world where everyone is out for themeselves, it's important to be sensitive...sometimes anyway, right?

On Inconvenience Yourself Day, stop and think about others for a change, and even drop your own plans to help those you care about make their lives better in whatever way you can. Just try your best to make things easier for them- we all know that life can be oh so darned complicated.

I mean hey, if a friend tells you they're feeling empty, lonely or like they've had a difficult or strange, twisted turning point in their lives, encourage them to go to a shrink.

But try to be nice and inconvenience yourself by going out of your way and help them, even if you don't really wanna be their own personal shrink. Be that shoulder to cry on. Offer them a helpful cookie or a much needed smack to reality. Don't worry, be happy, and gleefully go cheer someone up! And certainly give condolences if someone's situation is full of hurting and sorrow...cuz if someone died, then ya know, you've gotta expect them to be down in the dumps and stuff.

Spay Day USA (Hold Still Snoopy, This Won't Hurt A Bit)

Today is the 13th annual Spay Day, a campaign to promote spaying/neutering as a solution to pet overpopulation. The Humane Society of the United States would like to remind pet owners that "it's not just rabbits who multiply like rabbits." Thousands of unwanted kittens and puppies are born every year and their fates are often tragic.

Some owners may be agonizing over Fido and Felix's feelings about the procedure. To those empathic pet owners, we say worry no more! The folks over at Neuticles would be more than happy to help Butch feel butch again. That's right people! For just $399, this company will happily assuage those feelings of guilt by replacing what was lost with handy prosthetics (complete with life-like veins)!

However, for those who think that is just nuts, perhaps taking your dog out and tossing a ball around will suffice to distract Snoopy after the 'fact.'

For Pete's Sake Day (Cuz Paul's Just Isn't Worth It)

February 26th is the day we celebrate dandy Mr.Pete. But the world still wonders...who exactly is he? And why is he so great that we should do all these things for his sake? Then again, why not just do random things for his sake?

But what about the rest of us poor schmucks? Do we all get a day like this? If so, when will MY day come? More importantly, how exactly does one celebrate this esoteric holiday?

My sources have informed me that one merely need to utter the phases as often as possible, but this seems rather lackluster to me. If it is MY day I'd want something more. So here is my suggestion: on Tuesday, grab some popcorn and hold a MST3K-style viewing party for that atrocious Barbara Streisand movie, "For Pete's Sake."

First National Bank Chartered By Congress Anniversary (Don't Go Having Too Much Fun Now)

As I scrounged around to look for a zany holiday to discuss today, all I could ultimately come up with was this little gem of historical significance--the anniversary of the chartering of the USA's first national bank.

Tired of using change purses to hold their considerable wealth, early Americans chartered the First Bank of the US in Philadelphia. Slated as a national bank by Mr. Alexander Hamilton himself, the institution unfortunately lost its charter in 1811. People made a second vain attempt at a national bank shortly thereafter, but that was messed up too. Since then, the country hasn't had a central bank at all, opting instead to dump the resposnsibility on the Federal Reserve System.

I'm not sure how you'd celebrate today, um, buy a bank cake? Make a deposit? Do a little dance while waiting in line at a bank? Just be creative or something.

Introduce a Girl To Engineering Day (Cuz Nerdy Girls Can Be Hot Too)

Three years ago, Lawrence H. Summers, then President of Harvard University, gave a speech in which he implied the innate inferiority of women in the natural sciences. It's unfortunately a common enough stereotype: silly, ditzy Dee Dee always destroying little Dexter's creations of engineering genius. Unfortunately, for Dr. Summers and other like-minded detractors, real life is not like a Cartoon Network show. All-girl engineering teams like the Green Grinches will be all to happy to prove that "Whoever said 'may the best man win', never asked a girl to play." So, for those brainy girls out there with dreams of changing the world, don't let those mean old men put you down...this day is yours! Grab those calculators and rulers and show the world what you can do.

Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day (Hoodie You Think You Are?)

Hooooooooooooooooooodie Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

In an attempt to get people to do weird things in public, Hoodie-Hoo day was established as a holiday. This wacky day of abject zaniness requires that people drop what they're doing, head out onto the street, and yell "Hoodie Hoo!" at high noon. Apparently, this random noise is supposed to scare winter away and prepare for spring, which is exactly one month away. People with throat conditions can still paricipate in today's celebration, albeit with a whistle or some other kind of noise maker.

Of course, this is only applicable if you live above the Equator. Anyone below it is having summer right now, and lord knows what saying "Hoodie Hoo" in summer might do.

Spunky Old Broads Day (Grammy's Feelin' Frisky!)

Today's zany holiday is dedicated to the saying, "Old girls just wanna have fun." Yes kiddies, Spunky Old Broad Day is upon us yet again.

Now, those of you not in the know might ask yourself, "Gee, what exactly is a spunky old broad?" And if you do, then you obviously aren't one.

Spunky old broads are positive, fun, butt-kicking mature women over the age of 50 who refuse to sit back quietly and get old. They want excitement! They want a regret-free life! They want form fitting aprons! They want calcium supplements!

The best known old spunky broads that I could think of are The Golden Girls. You know you love 'em. And if you've never seen the show, make sure to catch an episode. They air it like 3584 times a day on Lifetime.

Keep Your Eyes Peeled!

Hey folks,

Here is a list of zany holidays you should keep an eye out for this week:

Monday, February 18, 2008 - Build A Better Trade Show Week

Tuesday, February 19, 2008 - Spunky Old Broads Day

Wednesday, February 20, 2008 - National Pancake Week/International Pancake Day

Thursday, February 21, 2008 - National Condom Week/Single-Tasking Day

Friday, February 22, 2008 - Introduce A Girl To Engineering Day

Stay Zany!

Build A Better Trade Show Image Week (This Year You Might Get Noticed!)

For all you companies out there that exhibit at trade shows, this is your big chance!
This week (Feb 18-24) has been set aside to evaluate and improve exhibit strategies for the upcoming trade show season.

Lets face it, every year you set up (what you think to be) a beautiful and attractive trade show exhibit, and everyone just walks on by. Your problem is that you need to improve your trade show image and utilize this zany holiday by doing some research on how to develop your exhibit.

A great way to improve your image and develop your exhibit would be to have trade show promotional giveaways available at your exhibit. People love getting free stuff, and always come running to the exhibits with the best giveaways!

So go do some research, pick up some promotional giveaways and improve your trade show image, because right now it could probably use some work!

Lupercalia (Lupa-what?)

Such an odd name for a holiday, isn't it? Lupercalia, an ancient Roman fertility festival, hasn't been celebrated in a few centuries, but I think it's about time for a revival don't you?

Besides, what better time to celebrate a fertility festival than the day after Valentine's Day! C'mon on now,it's genius!

Romans believed that the festival began with the brothers Romulus and Remus, who, legend states, were suckled by a female she-wolf as infants. Talk about Mom issues. Anywho, after killing his brother after he made fun of a wall he was building, Romulus went on to found what would become Rome.

It's a sort of outdated holiday, so there aren't any holiday appropriate items to give out on this day.Because I don't have much experience with fertility festivals, and since I'm not cool with sacrificing goats and dogs the way the Romans did on this day, I'll have to leave it up to you to find your own ways of celebrating today.

National Call In Single Day (Calling in Love-sick Doesn't Count!)

Valentine's Day is a great time to express yourself and show the one you love most just how much you care. For all you singles out there, this can be a pretty lonely day.

But don't worry because you're in luck! Today no longer has to be Valentine's Day! From here on out, it's National Call In Single Day. Singles all across the country are encouraged to pick up the phone, take a day off from work, and set aside some time for themselves. Nobody can love you like you, so make sure you love yourself a lot today.

So go on out and do things for YOU. Take a walk, spit at passing couples walking hand-in-hand, eat copious amounts of chocolates, chase your shadow, and do whatever else you single people do, just make sure you enjoy yourself. If all that alone time eventually gets to you, you could always pickup some games and gadgets to pass the time.


***Attention, for all those who seek to avoid this holiday next year***

Instead of using today to enjoy and appreciate yourself, go out and find some other lonely singles to celebrate with. Who knows, you two could hit it off and next year you'll be the one needing to pickup some Valentine's Day gifts!

Hey, it could happen.

Change Your Name Day (Because Your Parents Never Asked For Your Input)

Some people really love their names. Some names are just inherently cool. Other people, however, really hate their names, and if you're a part of this group, then today's holiday is just for you. Change Your Name Day allows you to dispose of your despised monkier and adopt a hipper, funner, more fitting one.

Once you've chosen your new name, (and make sure it's appropriate, since Bummy McFloozy just won't fly) there's a bunch of fun things you can do with it!

• Insist that everyone call you by your new name, and if they don't, get irrationally angry and throw something.


• Change the signature file on your emails, which will undoubtedly confuse lots of people.


• Get your new name engraved on a fancy pen


• Play The Name Game Song with a few people and really throw them for a loop.

Bummy Bummy Bo-Ummy

Banana-fana Fo-Fummy

Fee-fi Mo-Mummy

Bummy!

See how fun?

Love A Mensch Day (To Make Your Yente Happy)

Oh no, check your calendars everyone!With the foreboding date of February 14th a mere two days away, it's time for all you singles out there to quickly find yourselves a nice mensch to spend the holiday with. Today's Love a Mensch Day, a quirky little holiday that comes to us from famed love coach, Robin Gorman Newman.

For those not in the know, mensch is a Yiddish word. Mensches are decent, respectable, men or women that you could proudly bring home to mom and pop without the worry of marring your family's name.

However, if you have a penchant for seedier types, by all means, don't love a mensch at all today. Just jot through your address book and see if you can find someone more appealing to your tastes. And if you're happy not having a mensch for V-Day, or anyone for that matter, that's fine too. We don't want to push some sort of co-dependant notion of happiness on you.

100th Post Day (We Made It!)

Ok, so this isn't really a holiday. But it is for us. We have just reached our 100th Zany, Wacky, Crazy, Outrageous, Weird, wacked-out, and ludicrous holidays. So celebrate with us. As we now move on to the true holiday of today.

Keep on the look out as we delve deeper into the crazy and weird. We are looking for more outrageous holidays. If you have any suggestions let us know. Keep your eyes peeled as we will be making some improvements to the blog in weeks to come.

Once again, congratulations to us for making it to our 100th post. O, and thanks to you for reading.

Holidays To Look Forward To This Week


Rather then keep you in suspense, we have decided to have a weekly post of the names of holidays so that you can look forward to them. Now you can prepare your celebrations of the daily, weekly, and monthly zany holidays.

• Monday, February 11,2008 - Jell-O Week


• Tuesday, February 12,2008 - Love A Mensch Week


• Wednesday, February 13,2008 - Get A Different Name Day


• Thursday, February 14,2008 - National Call In Single Day


• Friday, February 15,2008 - Lupercalia

Jell-O Week (Cuz There's Always Room)

I'm so grateful to Utah's legislature. They declared the second full week of February to be Jell-O Week, a glorious opportunity to relish in the greatness of the world's most well-known fruity gelatin snack maker. There's so many different ways to celebrate today.

1. Eats copious amounts of Jell-O.
2. Instead of Valentine's chocolates, give Jell-O to your loved one.
3. Reflect on the creepiness of those old Bill Cosby Jell-O commercials from the 90's.
4. Hold a Jell-O wrestling contest (make sure to cover the furniture)
5. Make Jell-O shots

The company is also known for its pudding, but I really didn't want to talk about that at all.

Laugh and Get Rich Day (Get Rich or Laugh Trying)

Today, February the 8th, we're taking time out of our very busy and serious schedules to recognize some of the more humorous aspects of life. For example, lets all remember how great and funny it was to watch the Patriots lose their perfect undefeated season. I am sure whoever bet on the Giants was laughing and getting rich at the same time then! In honor of hilarious moments and making money, today has been officially deemed Laugh and Get Rich Day!

Could you possibly think of a better way to spend a day then by laughing and getting rich?
No, neither could I.

So go find something to laugh at, and profit from it, because as far as I am concerned Laugh and Get Rich is more then just a day, its the American Dream. It will never really work in the long run so atleast you've got today to give it a shot!

People love to laugh, so try giving out some promotional toys and games for them to remember you. Who knows, you may even be able to laugh and make a profit!

Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day (...Not Just The Middle One)

Dont you just love to walk down the steet and hear,

"STAY OFF MY LAWN!"
"USE YOUR OWN TRASH!"
"KEEP THAT DOG AWAY!"

and my personal favorite,

"GET YOUR OWN $!@&*^! NEWSPAPER!"

For all you angry neighbors out there, February 7th is for you!

After all the drama and arguments and challenges we and our neighbors have endured, its time to put down that middle finger and raise the rest. Wave to everyone and everything because the annual Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day is all about taking time to put aside your differences, and just say hello.

So open your fist, raise your right hand, and begin to shake because today is all about being friendly. You can even be extra friendly by waving with some noise makers or by whistling at someone you like!

Return Shopping Carts To The Supermarket Month (Because There's Only So Much You Can Do With One)

Attention all kleptomaniacs:

This month, we are asking all of you to kindly return any stolen supermarket shopping carts you may have snagged throughout the years. We're not sure exactly what you're doing with them or what manner of heinous game you might be playing, but consider all the poor shoppers who will go cartless due to your selfishness.

Now, we're more than happy to lend you a cart, for a reasonable fee of course. But outright stealing? Pft.

And while we're on the topic of stolen shopping carts, please return any milk crates, bread trays,ice cream baskets, and other food containers you may have lying around your stash. We're trying to run a business here people!

Sheesh.

Sincerely,

Management.

Just Say No To PowerPoint Week (Slideshow Your Butt Outta Here)

Oh PowerPoint, how you've guided so many of us through countless meetings, school projects, and other mandatory things none of us really want to do. Where would we be without you? I shudder to think of actually having to hone my oral presentation skills and learn how to engage an audience based on the content of my work.

We all take you for granted, so this week, we all must go without your ever-caring presence in our lives. Sure, it'll be hard, and many of us might not make it out of the boardroom alive, but it is necessary, and we will all be the better for it once the ordeal is over.

Maybe we all could use funny faces, or memo boards, or markers to get our messages across.

Or we could just curl up in the fetal position and sob until this week is over.

-Sigh- It will be a long week.

Dump Your "Significant Jerk" Week (Maybe We Can Still be Friends)

If you haven't noticed all of the red heart shaped decorations everywhere then this is probably a good time to tell you...yup, Valentine's Day is around the corner and you are definitely unprepared.

In honor of this momentous holiday (andfor those who choose to ignore it), the 14th annual Dump Your "Significant Jerk" Week is underway. This week (Feb 4-10) is a chance for all you underappreciated boyfriends and girlfriends to take out the trash, get rid of that jerk, and find a special some one to share your V-day with!

For all you jerks out there, there may be hope yet! If you follow my instructions exactly there is a good possibility you won't get dumped. Make sure to shower your boyfriend or girlfriend with gifts like chocolate, candy and flowers. Try ordering some Valentine's Day Promotional Items with your girlfriend or boyfriends name printed on it, I bet that would make a real special impression.

For all you happy couples, have a wonderful V-day. And for all you jerks, better luck next year!

Hula In The Coola Day (Don't Mind the Hypothermia!)

For those of you currently pining for the warmer days of summer, fret not, today's holiday allows you to momentarily pretend that it's not really friggin' cold outside. Hula in the Coola Day encourages everyone to stash away their coats, scarves, gloves, and thermal underwear, and don shorts, sunglasses, and leis and have a wild luau party!

Laugh at the cold, scream aloha, play limbo, roast a pig, wear a coconut-stress ball bra, and try to be as stereotypically Hawaiian as possible.

If you live in a warmer climate and know nothing of how nastily cold winter can get, well BLAAAAAAAHHHHH to you.